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Coming Out, Explained In GIFs

Pardon the rainbow invasion. Today is the day the gay community celebrates leaping that dreaded hurdle and pronouncing their gayness for everyone to hear. For some it’s easy, for others… finding a resolution for the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict would be easier. Regardless of the journey, we’ve all made it, and it kind of feels like winning gold at the Olympics. It goes a little something like this:

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You start out all young and innocent. Yay.

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And then this happens.

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And you’re like, “WTF I’m 10!”

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Then these really weird feels start.

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But–But–you’re a BOY.

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Maybe it’s just a phase?

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Goddammit! That smile! The feels.

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And your internal struggle begins.

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But you know. You know.

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And sadly, those idiots at school know too.

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Eventually, you just get over it.

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Wait! But my family doesn’t know!

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HELP! HELP! HELP!

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And no matter how many times you try, you bail.

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Then you get a bit dramatic. Shocker.

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Until you just give zero fucks and go for it.

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THE RELIEF. PARRRR-TAYYYY.gay_imfabulous

Not to mention your confidence, which then just gets insane.

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And the birth of such sass.

The End.

 

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Fall Survival Guide

It. Is. FALL.

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Fall is my absolute favorite season of all–you know, out of the whopping four we have. Since I was too busy immersing myself in as many autumn-worthy activities since the official launch of the best season ever, I wasn’t able to inform you all on what you need to know to live happily in fall. Fall. Fall. Fall. Also, I feel fall doesn’t really start until October 1st, which was historically my favorite month until I moved to LA and the state of California burned and stomped all over October’s autumn spirit.

1. Craft your fall playlist

Country is a must. Even if you don’t like Country music, too bad. It’s fall-chic and you’ll love it. Stereotypical imagery of corn stalks, tractors, wagons, buggies, bonfires, and fields help enhance your seasonal experience. Fall is also a time for acoustic pop or simple, guitar-favored songs. Here’s a fall playlist starter kit:

  • “Get Out Of This Town” / Carrie Underwood
  • “We Owned The Night” / Lady Antebellum
  • “Stop Standing There” / Avril Lavigne
  • “Irreplaceable” / Beyonce
  • “This Is How We Roll” / Florida Georgia Line Ft. Luke Bryan
  • “Through The Dark” / One Direction
  • “Fast Car” / Tracy Chapman
  • “Love Story” / Taylor Swift
  • “Nothing” / The Script
  • “Don’t Forget To Remember Me” / Carrie Underwood
  • “It’s Okay” / Coin
  • “Scarecrow” / Alex & Sierra
  • “With You” / Chris Brown
  • “The One That Got Away” / Katy Perry
  • “Leave the Night On” / Sam Hunt
  • “The Night Before (Life Goes On)” / Carrie Underwood
  • “Red” / Taylor Swift
  • “Last Goodbye” / Kesha

2. Buy (and wear) a shit load of flannels with khakis and boots.

It’s the essential fall wardrobe. Wear the flannels. Tie them around your waist (because that’s a thing now). Put on your killer Timbalands or other choice of boot. DON’T: Buy a cowboy hat. No. That’s too much. If you wear these things, you will feel great about how fall-y you look and others will wish they feel like you do. You: 1. Them: 0.

3. Be Martha Stewart.

I don’t mean insider trading, either. I’m talking about turning pumpkins into chandeliers. If you don’t already have a warm, neutral color palette in your home, get one. You need to have a cozy and modern style that can be upgraded with seasonal flare and return to a respectable and fashionable normal. You feel me? Time to start adding the yellows, oranges, browns and reds to that canvas and make it feel like the goddamn Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade just came barreling through your home. I was just in Pier One and I can say there were some good finds–I literally gasped when I entered. P.S. Don’t forget fake leaves if you live in the stupid desert climate like me and don’t have them.

4. If it doesn’t have pumpkin or pumpkin spice, you can’t eat it.

By Christmas, you should have an orange glow. The carotene should be pumping through your veins like Amanda Bynes on a highway. There are enough pumpkin products on the market now to support your well-being for the next 2 months without dying. Put pumpkin puree in your pancake batter. PSLs or pumpkin chai will start your day. Roast pumpkin and butternut squash for a salad. They even have pumpkin spice Oreos for your late-night sweet fix. Bake pumpkin seeds for a mid-day snack. I don’t want to hear it. You can do wonders with a pumpkin–WONDERS!

5. Be one with nature.

I don’t go outdoors unless…well…well that’s besides the point. Point is, there are so many things to do in fall! Here are a few mandatory events:

  1. Pumpkin Patch. No one wants to go to a chain grocery store and get a pumpkin when you can go to a PUMPKIN PATCH. There’s cider, hay stacks, face painting and well-dressed fall-lites. It’s the place to be.
  2. Apple picking. This is like level-3 outdoor intensity, so make sure you’re fit. This choice includes walking outside–possibly on an incline, uneven terrain, insects, ungodly sites of insect-infested apples, and more. They also tend to happen near very quaint, All-American towns which is awesome. If you’re in the L.A. area, I suggest Julian, CA.
  3. Corn mazes. Aw, hell. This shit is my jam. This is strictly a nighttime activity. Take all your friends, take your PSLs, take your flannels, take your fall playlist and have fun getting lost! Torture has never been so much fun. But the haunted ones, fuck that shit. That’s a no.

With my astute, fall wisdom, you should be able to successfully make it through the next two months. If you need to discuss some awesome fall thing that I don’t know (highly unlikely), hit me up on Twitter @BryceChristian. Happy Fall!

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Chrissy Teigen Puts Arianator To Shame

Supermodel and superwife Chrissy Teigen is used to sizzling on screen, but Mrs. John Legend brought the heat to Twitter last night.

After appearing on Nick Cannon’s MTV improv show, Wild N Out, one John Legend fan tweeted:

Considering things didn’t go particularly well for Teigen at the Dodgers-Angels game, where she threw out the first pitch to some shaky reviews, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model was already in combat mode and this Tweet got shredded.

After browsing through the user’s Twitter account, which features Ariana Grande in the profile picture, there is copious fangirling going on about the “Break Free” singer, which Teigen sarcastically referenced.

In an online world that gives the megaphone to anyone with Internet access, opinions–the good and the ugly–are delivered right to the phones of high-profile personalities. The decision to be made by these personalities is: to tweet or not to tweet? I would think any conventional PR manager would urge their client to refrain from responding to anonymous critics, but I’m certainly not going to support that. Do you think William Shakespeare would stand to see millions of anguished high schoolers rip apart his classic pieces of art with uneducated critiques? I would hope not. So, you go Chrissy! Let ‘em have it. The world would be so insanely dull if we were all politically correct, high-road taking PR puppets.

The Twitter-er @goodnessjack without fail hid behind the argument of, “It was just an opinion. I can only rationalize your outburst as insecurity.” Here’s the problem with that: You cannot give an informed opinion on someone’s marriage if you are not involved in either John or Chrissy’s life. A song? Yes. You hear it from start to finish and can say, “I don’t like it.” To say John can find a better wife? I’m sorry, I must have missed you at the wedding since you’re so close to the family to have that kind of opinion. All I know is that I was working the Billboard Music Awards and saw John give Chrissy a piggy-back ride backstage after rehearsing his love ballad about her–to her–so if you were a true John Legend fan, you would support him in his choice of wife because he obviously loves this woman. And deservedly so–Have you seen what she can whip up in the kitchen?

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The Demise of Zayn Malik’s Hair

Despite the amazing news that One Direction was named the best-selling musical act worldwide in 2013, tragedy is among us–and it’s a…hairy situation.
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1D hearthrob (and my husband, for those not invited to the intimate rooftop affair) Zayn Malik was spotted sporting a new grungy look–a complete departure from his standard, picture-perfect hair.

“The Zayn” hairstyle influenced thousands of guys around the world with its edgy undercut and a gravity-defying quiff. By thousands, I mean myself and all of the YouTube personalities I came across featuring a how-to guide for Mr. Malik’s signature look. I also may or may not have gone into my stylist’s salon and shown him a picture of Zayn for reference. And there’s a possibility that I did not.

Regardless, I will not stand for this injustice. I will let you all know that I have it under control and texted him that, “We need to talk when you get home.”

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Yeezus À La Mode: Kanye’s GQ Cover Story

Miranda: Get me Demarchelier.

Andy: I have Miranda Priestly calling for–Okay. I have Patrick!

I don’t know if Jim Nelson, Editor-in-Chief of GQ, is anything like my beloved Miranda Priestly, but this is how I would like to imagine GQ’s August cover story shoot with Kanye West and legendary photographer Patrick Demarchelier was arranged.

I was super excited when I received my copy in the mail yesterday–Yes, I still order print magazines. As controversial and bold as Ye might be, there is one thing you can’t deny: this man has style. And I love everything about his style. Okay, so he’s low key my fashion inspiration of late. I have always been a fan of tonal combinations (white-on-white or black-on-black, etc.) and loose-fitting tops over slim-legged pants, but Kanye just slays it to perfection. Even though he’s been sort-of-but-not-really ex-communicated within the fashion world, he’s doing quite a fine job on his own accord.

West’s style, a neutral and tonal marriage of rock n’ roll and streetwear was illuminated to perfection by Demarchelier in the GQ photo spread:

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If you’re wearing layers, you can be in L.A., New York, Paris, in an airport lounge, or on a plane, taking layers on and off however. And the proportions get emotional. You know how a graphic can express a feeling or an emotion? Layers can, too.

–Kanye West

Kanye currently has a collection with French fashion store A.P.C. Most everything I want is sold out. Sad face.

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Bryce Christian Presents: Neon Sands (vol. 1)

It is almost summer! In honor of the summer solstice this weekend, I am sharing my summer playlist with all of you! I have made playlists for years and thought I should finally share and see if anyone else likes them as well. The concept behind the playlist is EDM meets summer day songs. As a whole, it progresses from day to night. Sadly, three of the tracks do not exist on SoundCloud (1, 7 and 10), but below I included links to all of them! Check it out and let me know what you think!–Good? Bad? I should never make a playlist again?

01. Here Comes the Sun / Smith & Thell (YouTube)

02. Wild Wild Love Ft. GRL (Jump Smokers Remix) / Pitbull (SoundCloud)

03. Problem Ft. Iggy Azalea (Revol-uution Remix) / Ariana Grande (SoundCloud)

04. Standing On the Sun (Country Club Martini Crew Remix) / Beyonce (SoundCloud)

05. Birthday (Cash Cash Remix) / Katy Perry (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

06. Team (Elephante Remix) / Lorde (SoundCloud)

07. Wolves Ft. Youngblood Hawke / Digitalism (Tumblr) (YouTube)

08. Wasted Ft. Matthew Koma / Tiesto (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

09. Sleeping With a Friend (HyperBits Radio Edit) / Neon Trees (SoundCloud)

10. Treasure (Cash Cash Remix) / Bruno Mars (iTunes) (YouTube)

11. Love Never Felt So Good (Fedde Le Grand Remix) / Michael Jackson (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

12. Feel Good (Pierce Fulton Remix) / GOLDHOUSE (SoundCloud)

13. Satellites / Cash Cash (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

14. Rather Be Ft. Jess Glynne (Cash Cash x Valley Remix) / Clean Bandit (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

15. All Night (Cash Cash Radio Edit) / Icona Pop (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

16. Summer / Calvin Harris (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

17. Pretty Hurts (Country Club Martini Crew Remix) / Beyonce (SoundCloud)

18. Live Right Now (Lotus Cocktail Mashup) / Rihanna vs Krewella (SoundCloud)

19. Under Control Ft. Hurts / Calvin Harris & Alesso (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

20. Sparks Ft. Matthew Koma (Vicetone Remix) / Fedde Le Grand & Nicky Romero (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

21. Bright Lights / Syn Cole (SoundCloud)

22. Young Hearts (Marcus Santoro & JAKKO Bootleg) / Strange Talk (SoundCloud)–Free Download

23. Ahead of Us / Tom Swoon, Lush & Simon (SoundCloud)–Free Download

24. All of Me (Tiesto Remix) / John Legend (SoundCloud) (iTunes)

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Top Ten: Summer Songs

Technically, summer isn’t here yet, but when school’s out, it’s 80 degrees and we’re in June, it’s summer. I said so. While laying poolside the past two days and listening to my summer essentials playlist, I got to thinking: “What are my top ten favorite summer songs?” We all know I’m a freakazoid when it comes to lists and I will agonize and spend countless neurotic hours perfecting these lists until I can sleep tight, so I decided to subject myself to such intolerable cruelty to bring to you my top songs of summer:

10. Let’s Run Away / Haley Reinhart

The former “American Idol” contestant hit such a sweet, tropical jackpot with this song from her debut album, Listen Up. If you don’t find yourself smiling at least once during this song, you’re not human. It’s magical.

9. I Like It / Enrique Iglesias Ft. Pitbull

Auto-tune at it’s finest. This song just makes me so happy as soon as the synthy intro drops. And with the assistance of Mr. I-Can-Name-Nearly-Every-Country-In-The-World Pitbull, it’s like a Miami dance party on the beach.

8. Gin & Juice / Snoop Dogg

I don’t even think I need to explain this one. Classics are classics.

7. California Gurls / Katy Perry Ft. Snoop Dogg

Even though this song has only been out for four years, it is already Billboard’s No.1 summer song of all time. It’s fun, it’s flirty, and a diabetic coma ready to happen. And it’s all about sunny California! What more could you want? A whipped-cream dispensing bra? Yeah, it has that too!

6. If It’s Lovin’ That You Want / Rihanna

Awww, how sweet and innocent were Rihanna’s Barbadian princess days? It’s a taste of the tropical and will forever be one of my favorite Riri tracks.

5. Summer of ’69 / Bryan Adams

Just a summer classic. It has this innate nostalgic appeal that makes you so happy without really knowing why. Maybe it’s because it came from a time when a summer jam could be made without referencing sex, naked men/women and alcohol…

4. Summer Love / Justin Timberlake

Just another great track off of the great Future Sex/Love Sounds album. It’s the perfect daytime cruising song with the windows down and swag all the way up. Does anyone actually dislike this song, though?

3. Standing On the Sun / Beyonce

After being used for an H&M ad campaign last summer, the song never made the final setlist for Beyonce, which I still don’t understand. Regardless, the song is cracked out on major summer endorphins and is so relaxing to the ears. You literally feel like you’re standing on the sun–which doesn’t actually sound relaxing, but whatever.

2. Rock the Boat / Aaliyah

Arguably the smoothest artist of all time, Aaliyah dropped major summer dopeness with this island jam. It’s so bittersweet listening to it though, considering the tragedy that unfolded after filming the video, but it’s still one of those songs that puts me in sunny, breezy bliss.

1. Honey / Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey is the queen of summer music: Heartbreaker, Touch My Body, #Beautiful, etc. This woman knows how to make a smooth jam for those chill summer vibes. And how amazing does she look in this video? It’s kind of the first time we saw Mariah bust a move too. This was also the song where she turned black and never looked back.

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Jennifer Lawrence’s Hilarious Jimmy Fallon Visit

JLaw is at it again. It seems wherever the actress goes, chaos, laughter and overwhelming feelings of sadness (that we will never be her) follow. Thursday night, JLaw brought the shenanigans bus to the “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.” The interview segment was largely an anecdote of an event the two attended, which ended with Fallon landing on Lawrence’s dark side:

“You made me look like a freak in front of JLo. Do you know what that feels like?!” She yelled at him on the show.

But this is why we love her: she’s still just as socially awkward as most of us, even though she’s super famous and has an OSCAR, as well as every other award made by man. Let’s just recap: JLaw, after downing 10 jello shooters, twirls around to ask JLo to dance with her–and JLo passed. What do you do when JLo shuts down your dance request?! Cry. I would cry. Then again, I cry at everything. Don’t even get me started on the new Eminem music video. Watch Lawrence recount the night’s epic fail:

But that’s not all. JLaw and Fallon also played a game called “Box of Lies,” which is just as entertaining. The two of them have this comedic chemistry that borders on an illegal synthetic stimulant. See who’s a better liar:

Also, JLaw, if you’re reading this: Hi, we should be friends, order Chinese take out from a sketch place with a name like Imperial Duck Three, do jello shooters, bake a cake and prank call people at 3am–or ding-dong ditch–whichever our prefer.

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2014 BBMAs Top Male Artist Finalists Lead By Example

Click: 2014 BBMAs Top Male Artist Finalists Lead By Example

My article I wrote today for the 2014 Billboard Music Awards. Share! Share! Share! Love ya.

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WATCH: Usher’s Getting Lippy In “Good Kisser” Video

Time to put your lips to the test. Ursher, baby is turning up the swag in his new music video. The track is the lead single from his upcoming eighth studio album, which is still untitled–or is it? The video opens with a dark room lit only by a neon “XY.” Could that be the name for the new set? Since biology 101 has been a hot minute for most: “XY” are the chromosomes that make up a male human. It’s a pretty dope album title if you ask me. But back to the song, check it out below:

After the “Voice” coach went EDM on his 2012 album, Looking 4 Myself, it appears he is returning to his smooth R&B vibes that we all fell in love with way-back-when. “Good Kisser” features lots of funk, lots of the cool moves and lots of that sweet falsetto that could charm a rattlesnake right out of its pot–not euphemistic at all. Parts of the flick are also reminiscent of D’Angelo’s “How Does It Feel” video–you know, the one where he’s just naked under a shower head the whole time?

What do you guys think? Are we happy he’s getting sensual again?

The answer is: Yes.