Hey you people! Here’s my review for our beloved Katy Perry’s new album. If nothing else, fill out the poll at the end! Please?
1. Roar: 10/10
I know a lot of people are “eh” about Roar, but I unabashedly love it. Maybe I like it so much because I was physically withering away in the absence of Katy music that when she began the teasers for this I latched on like it would be the last song ever? But it’s still so empowering and fun to belt to. And it’s Katy catchy: “wuh uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, wuh uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh”
Teenage Dream twinsie: Part of Me
2. Legendary Lovers: 8/10
Definitely the ode to her Indian wedding. It’s kind of all over the place though, not necessarily in a bad way…Slumdog Millionaire meets Kesha’s “Last Goodbye.” I see leprechauns dancing Bollywood style. Not a fan of the half-rapped lyrics. Another good song to belt to. It’s a… unique track.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Hummingbird Heartbeat (It’s a stretch, but hey…)
3. Birthday: 10/10
I remember reading the Billboard track-by-track review for this and thinking, “I can’t wait to hear that one.” The hype was definitely worth it. Katy going disco is good for anyone. It’s like California Gurls meets Teenage Dream and a sun-filled, pink balloon magical glitter bomb happened. Summer jam of 2014, for sure.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Teenage Dream
4. Walking On Air: 10/10
I think it’s funny that in the VMA Pepsi voting for which song to release second, this or Dark Horse, I voted Dark Horse, yet when the full-length versions of both dropped, I prefer Walking On Air. Anyone else feel the same? It’s so sultry yet clubby, who could resist? Normally a fan of hitting harder and having more words filling up house-type choruses than just a “to-night…pause…pause…I’m walking on air…pause….pause…to-night….” but at some point I stopped caring.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Peacock
5. Unconditionally: 7/10
Love the background production. Love the verses. The heavy percussion is amazing. There’s just something about screaming words with a gajillion syllables that is just awkward to me. Favorite part is the “Open up your heart and just let it begin” refrain.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Pearl
6. Dark Horse: 8/10
I thought I was going to like this so much more, not that it isn’t good, because it is. Don’t like Juicy J on the track. I’ve come to not be bothered by it, but I think it would be better without. Bass is still siiiiick. The bridge is still my favorite part of the song; I love the way it builds. Even though I love it, it for some reason doesn’t “stick” with me.
Teenage Dream twinsie: E.T.
7. This Is How We Do: 9/10
I at first passed this one up as just being an “OK” track. And then I heard it again. And again. OK, this is actually pretty great. It’s such a “Katy” song: the my generation-ish relatable experiences, the quirky shout outs, the even quirkier lyrics “getting our nails did japanes-ey.” She’s an oddball genius.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Last Friday Night
8. International Smile: 7/10
At first I was like, “Eh,” generic song. And then, the magical catchy spell Katy bakes up in her pop meth lab comes creeping in and then you just listen to it because you can’t help not doing so. Still, I’m not a fan of saxophones so toward the end it was like the awful 10 seconds of Last Friday Night all over again. I’m also kind of jaded with naming cities in songs, Pitbull has us all worn out with geography lessons.
Teenage Dream twinsie: California Gurls
9. Ghost: 6/10
Starts of like a bad ‘80’s song. But then the chorus is magical. “There’s just an echo where your heart used to beat.” I’ve been humming that line over and over. Just reminds us how much we hate Russell Brand too. Jerk.
Teenage Dream twinsie: The One that Got Away
10. Love Me: 9/10
After reading a lot of reviews, I see this is NOT a popular choice. But I love it! Sometimes I like the more chill, mid-tempo songs that are just delicate, light and ethereal. It sounds a lot like Tegan and Sara and even includes the word “closer” toward the end, which is ironic. I love her tone in the verses and that bass line—heavenly.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Can’t find one 😦
11. This Moment: 5/10
When it starts you’re like, “Mhmm, ok. Yup. Liking this.” And you’re head’s bobbing. You’re thinking this is going somewhere great and then uh-oh, wtf happened? She starts shouting and holding out notes way too long. It killed the vibe. And toward the ending the shouting is just too much. It had potential, like Kim Kardashian’s singing career…well…
Teenage Dream twinsie: Nope.
12. Double Rainbow: 5/10
This sounds a lot like “By the Time,” a duet between Mika and Imogen Heap. I’m also a stickler with very off-putting lyrics, like, don’t use the “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” saying in a song. It’s not cute.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Got nothing…
13. By the Grace of God: 4/10
This sounds like a really bad church groupie song. Who let Kate Hudson back out of the basement? Like I really just can’t handle this. It starts alright and then she says, “By the grace of God,” and then I say “Nope.” Trying too hard too, it feels. What was that Nicki Minaj quote from American Idol? Oh, right:
It has a cool vibe, I’ll give it that. It’s just one of those that doesn’t do anything for me. Not memorable. I think it’s the chorus that kills it for me. Don’t’ really have much to say about this….
Teenage Dream twinsie: Wide Awake
15. It Takes Two: 6/10
Love the Rambo-esque opening. Again, the chorus kind of falls flat for me. She really is loving the heavy percussion isn’t she? Every song is starting to be the same mix of elements with different words.
Teenage Dream twinsie: Circle the Drain
16. Choose Your Battles: 8/10
Love the brooding beats and falsetto in this song. Has a very Alanis-esque feeling to it. I think this one is going to grow even more on me. And what’s up with the Celine Dion inflections/accents? Especially when she says “anyMORE.” For all you gays that would actually understand what I just wrote.
Teenage Dream Twinsie: Who Am I Living For?
Album average: 7/10. So we’ve had a sunshine happy album, and a dark, heavy album. What is next? Hopefully it doesn’t take 3 years. Never again, Katy. Never ever…getting back together—Sorry, had to.