Top 10: Signs You Live With A Latina

Picking a roommate is a very serious decision, if you’re lucky enough to be in the driver’s seat. Living with other people is not easy. Given how ill-tempered and OCD we can be, matching personalities is a fine art, if not an extinct art. When I coerced my best friend from back home on the east coast to move out and replace my old roommate, who ditched me for Australia on a wild whim in a matter of months, I thought I had won the lottery. I’m not saying I haven’t–we get along just great. It’s awesome to be able to live with your best friend. But sometimes you overlook the cultural differences that aren’t apparent when you don’t live with someone. Now that I’m living full-time with my Puerto Rican nugget, I get to soak in a completely new way of living. This is what happens when you move in with a latina:

1. There has been a coup d’état in your kitchen and Goya is your new leader.

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2. You can buy as many Bath & Body Works flowers as you want, but nothing can erase the pervading scent of garlic and olive oil.

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3. Conversations with her mother can be heard through two doors and two walls.

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4. Saturday mornings consist of gallons of bleach and salsa music.

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5. The Catholic guilt is real. “Did I wake you with my breathing. I’m so sorry. I feel horrible. Do you hate me? I’ll go throw myself off a cliff. “

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6. ESL moments become your favorite part of the day.

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And she tries and tries to get herself out of it, but it only gets worse.

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7. You are never able to keep all of their siblings straight.

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8. There are ALWAYS avocados AND plantains in the house. Maduros for life ❤

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9. Those times where you realize you’ve been watching Telemundo for the past 20 minutes and didn’t notice.

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10. Their family adopts you as their own and your real parents have no say in it.

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Bonus: God forbid you don’t cry when you eat her food because if you’re not crying tears of happiness, then obviously you hate it and just personally insulted her, her mother and her grandmother and 5 previous generations.

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But I wouldn’t change a thing.