Happy 60th Oprah! 20 reasons why we love you

Let’s face it: Oprah runs this Earth. For all that she does, I want to wish her the best on her big day. Since 60 is the new 20, I have thought of 20 reasons why we love her.

1. She has the power to single-handedly select the President of the United States/Leader of the Free World:

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2. She stands up to domestic violence.

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3. And gives it right back.

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4. We all rely on her to get us through our Plebeian lives.

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5. She secretly wants to be Beyonce too, like the rest of us.

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6. She’s both hood

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7. And classy.

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8. She had a cameo in “The Lion King.”

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9. She deals with basic bitches with elegance.

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10. She’s subtle.

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11. She is very persuasive.

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12. She gives away free stuff.

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13. She fangirls over One Direction too. (If she could time travel).

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14. She’s not impressed.

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15. She’s fabulous.

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16. She has the ability to make you do this:

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17. She’s a boss.

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18. She gives a lot to charity, because with 7 or 8 homes, $3 billion and a private jet, she can.

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19. But at least she earned it.

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20. And last but not least, she’s beautiful.

Oprah Winfrey

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Eyes up here: Katy Perry’s big-chested dreams

Have you ever prayed? What did you pray for? Good health? Winning the lottery? World peace?

How about big boobs? No? Well, we’re not all Katy Perry.

“I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, ‘God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can’t see my feet when I’m lying down?’ ”

The “Dark Horse” singer opened up to GQ for her February cover story about her busty dreams, which not only came true, but are on full-display in next month’s issue. It’s so hot it may melt your popsicle.

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Apart from steaming up page six, the Cali gurl also opened up about devilish cereal, losing her virginity at 16, her obsession with Japan, and everything else that makes her the quirky doe-eyed gal we all wish we could have a sleepover with. One of my favorite quotes touches upon both aliens and President Obama–the usual:

“I look up into the stars and I imagine: How self-important are we to think that we are the only life-form? I mean, if my relationship with Obama gets any better, I’m going to ask him that question. It just hasn’t been appropriate yet.”

I’ll close with a final thought/request: I need for Katy to remake the “E.T.” music video where Obama raps Kanye West’s verses. Thank you.