The 20 Best Things That Happened In 2014

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Feature Image Via Hulu

Last year, I summed up the most massive annoyances of the year. I decided to be a bit more chipper this year and look at the gifts we were given in 2014 instead. From French men dancing in heels to novelty, white-girl-approved Oreos, the treasures were overflowing. Personally, it was a great year for me as well. I began running, which lasted two months but proved to be the longest documented account of exercise in my life. I had my first full-time job since 17-year-old me was providing you outstanding customer service at every high school in America’s official fashion haus, Hollister. What else…Oh! I almost forgot the time I fell asleep in my running shower from 2am to roughly 4:30am. Such a great year. Here are some more milestones:

1. When Chris Schauble’s life flashed before his eyes.

When you think you’re watching SNL, but are actually watching a real, live news broadcast.

2. This Vine about the Christmas from Hell.
https://vine.co/v/OMh2DAYtmDr/embed/simple

Barbie never stood a chance. It was her time to go.

3. Last Week Tonight With John Oliver.

Unlike Piers Morgan, finally a British political commentator that isn’t a narcissistic asshole. Sure Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are great, but there is something about John Oliver that reigns supreme–and not just his likeness to that of Frozen‘s beloved Olaf.

4. Beyoncé’s “7/11” music video

Christmas came early for the folks at GoPro (basically the creators of the world’s best personal video camera) when Beyoncé decided to make her own video. Does Jay have the purse strings or what? Last year Bey spent $0 in advertisement for the release of her self-titled album, and it goes on to pass the now largely unattainable million-unit sales point. This year, she films a video for roughly $400, the cost of a GoPro Hero4. And guess what? It was still better than everyone else’s multi-million dollar videos. Cheap is the new luxe.

5. When POTUS’s tweets end all other tweets.

The first and, presumably, last president to both A) Know how to access the Internet and B) Figure out “the Twitter.”

6. When Taylor Swift thought she won a Grammy.
https://vine.co/v/Mu5BItuUZ1T/embed/simple

Uh, oh. The Grammy Committee might end up the subject of the next bitter T-Swift song.
“You can take me down with just one, single pronounced “R,”
But you don’t know, what you don’t know…”

7. Instagram enables comment editing.
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Game changer. Now there is no need for the humiliating follow-up comment to your comment that reads “*you’re”. Or if you mistakenly tag your picture in Las Vegas, NM instead of Las Vegas, NV, you are saved.

8. The best summertime ad ever created. You go Target!

If any of you have a backyard like this, and have yet to invite me, we are no longer friends.

9. Florida strikes again.

Holy mother of God. The state that seems to breed stupid like no other keeps finding ways to outdo last month’s crazy. Every time you say, “No” to bath salts, you save an unsuspecting McDonald’s franchise.

10. How To Get Away With Murder

Move over Olivia Pope, there is a new HBIC in town, and her name is Annalise Keating, played by the formiddable Viola Davis. But let’s be honest, I’m only here for Connor Walsh 😉 In all seriousness, this quickly became my go-to show for the year. Someone give Shonda Rhimes a TV MVP.

11. Yanis Marshall, and all his shades of fierce.

Who would’ve thought I’d be wishing for more French men dancing in heels this year? I mean…DAYUMMM. This little pocket rocket packs some serious punch. I’m both in love and terrified. If I didn’t think I would look absolutely ridiculous, I’d say #DanceGoals, but, like, no.

12. Her

Spike Jonze made me want to fall in love with my operating system this year when the innovative “Her” was released. Apart from the wi-fi sex with Scarlett Johanson’s voice, this film was a breath of fresh air. Funny, loving, artsy, beautifully acted and quippy–it did yield one of the best quotes ever: “[Love] it’s kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity.”

13. The woman who couldn’t handle life after a hailstorm.

Grab your box of tissues. It’s like The Notebook–almost. “Do I just sweep it off? Do I need to put it in a separate receptacle?” I die. It’s so adorable though that she’s so worried about the environment in this darkest hour.

14. Sam Hunt

Country has never been as sexy until Sam Hunt entered the ring, regarding both his music and, obviously, his dreamy self. He looks like he could snap me in two with the flick of his wrist. Anyway, I love that he is pioneering the future of country music by incorporating R&B flavors. It’s exciting. He is, without a doubt, my favorite newcomer of the 2014 music scene.

15. Ariana Grande’s priceless face after dodging a Victoria’s Secret angel wing.
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You might be beautiful, but get yo’ damn wing out my face when I’m singing.

16. Pumpkin Spice Oreos
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White girls rejoice all across the land! The gods have gifted us another fall novelty. After last year’s gingerbread Oreos failed miserably, Nabisco redeemed themselves this year.

17. Kanye West’s style
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I was super excited when I received this copy of GQ in the mail–Yes, I still order print magazines. There is one thing about Ye you can’t deny: this man has style. And I love everything about his style. Okay, so he’s low key my fashion inspiration of late. I have always been a fan of tonal combinations and loose-fitting tops over slim-legged pants, but Kanye just slays it to perfection. Even though he’s been sort-of-but-not-really ex-communicated within the fashion world, he’s doing quite a fine job on his own accord.

18. This stunning nighttime hyperlapse of Los Angeles.

LA Light from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

If you know me, you know my favorite thing in life is a panoramic view of a city by nightfall. This is perfection. And the music selection is genius. Bravo.

19. Katy Perry’s Prismatic World Tour

I never thought I’d ever go to a concert alone, until no one would go with me to see Katy Perry. Let me tell you this: best decision ever. I had a blast and I gave zero fucks. The most entertaining concert I have ever been to.

20. Bey and Jay’s On the Run Tour

Because, obviously.

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My Favorite Songs of 2014

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Feature Image Via SoundIsStyle

When you live in a big city and spend an absurd amount of time on public transit, your iPod is your best friend–My iPod is actually my longest-lasting relationship. And as you may know, my musical tastes could use some Adderall, but these are the 50 songs that kept me most sane this year.

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I’m so glad Sam Smith took up where Adele left off in 2014. This song just sucks you in the minute it starts with that booming drum. And who doesn’t know all the words to this one? Radio didn’t really give us a choice. It was like, “You will listen to this song 20 times a day and you will like it.” We did.

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I don’t really have a long list of ex-lovers to really relate, but according to a Buzzfeed quiz, I’m capable of smashing a guy’s car with a golf club. I see it. Is anyone else really happy T-Swift finally switched over to pop? It’s also refreshing that the whole truck bed and fireflies era is over. I like psycho Swift. Good work.

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Happiness. This was my official morning song for a month straight this past spring. I’d wake up on the weekend, turn on this song and just take in the morning light. That’s all it took for me to be happy. Imagine being Jessica Beal and actually having that same morning, except JT is actually next to you.

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Heeeey-ey-ey! One Direction wasn’t the only boy band stirring up 9-year-old girls’ tears this year. 5SOS and their ode to American Apparel underwear (which sadly passed without any A.A. sponsorship–their loss) had me jamming like a fool. I also learned to be super careful with my Snapchat from these guys. Thanks for the song and the help, guys!

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Oh, John Legend. This song gives me so many feels. I JUST WANT TO BE CHRISSY TEIGEN. If any of you saw his performance at the Billboard Music Awards, you’d maybe understand the aura I feel: a beautiful man, a polished, black piano and dimly-lit retro light bulbs. It is magical.

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So, from sweet and loving to hard and dirty. An ode to R. Kelly’s hit debut album, this song features two of our most suave R&B fellas joining forces to take our pants off for us. I ain’t mad. If you want a good slow jam with a killer hook, this is it.

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Last year I didn’t bat an eye at this song from Prism. Then when it became an official single this year, it stuck, and then I couldn’t get enough. I was humming it. It was my ringtone. I craved tacos like crazy. Katy Perry is capable of creating audible cocaine and I don’t know how she does it. An ode to besties and all of the shenanigans you got into (orand still do, hopefully), this song has a catchy swag you can’t shake.

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It wasn’t even intentional for TWO 5SOS songs to end up in my top ten, but, damn, it happened. I don’t know what it is about this song, but it’s perfect. Part throwback to the days of Good Charlotte, Bowling For Soup and All-Time Low, part chill production, “Never Be” was a perfect gem off of their debut album.

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There was no better hook in music in 2014 than the first ten seconds of this summer jam: Dun, Dun-Dun. Buh-duh Dun Dun-Dun. Buh-duh Dun Dun-Dun, Buh-duh Dun–“First thing’s first, I’m the realest.” BOOM. Iggy Iggz was all up in our face outta nowhere. And then the hilarious Jimmy Kimmel skit happened. To me, this was the most iconic song of 2014 and one of those tracks that you will always remember for the rest of your life–love it or hate it.

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First of all, the album art is perfection. Look at those fine ass headlights and taillights. That alone accounts for 10% of a great single. This song is so euphoric to me and makes me feel alive. It came at a time when I was away with some close friends on a weekend trip to Palm Springs and would play every time we were in the car. From there it just developed this whole piece of nostalgia itself which carried me through the rest of the year. EVERYBODY FIST PUMP.

Top 10: Albums of 2014

Another end of year, another chance to make best-of lists. I don’t even care if anyone reads them, it’s more of a personal hobby that goes nowhere–hey, if it makes me feel like a hot shot music critic (far from), what the hell? This is also not a statement as to “these are the absolute best of the year”–they’re my favorite albums. If I want to put One Direction ahead of some obscure indie pop standout, guess what? I will. It’s all about what kept me coming back for more. I think the Mona Lisa is great, but would I want that creepy woman lingering in my house? Hell to the no.

10. In the Lonely Hour / Sam Smith

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I can relate to this album in more ways than one, which should actually make me rather depressed and bitter…but thankfully emotional eating exists. His voice is just too good to not be on any list.

9. LP1 / FKA Twigs

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I don’t know where she came from, but Tahliah Barnett is the shit. My ears are forever grateful for these angelic-hypnotic- futuristic, slow night jams. Unlike Meghan Trainor, FKA Twigs is actually from England. (I went around for 4 months under the assumption Meghan Trainor was English.)

8. Queen of the Clouds / Tove Lo

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I’ll admit it: I do not like “Habits (Stay High).” But I will tell you: there are plenty more gems to be unearthed on this post-breakup album. Brooding, high-energy pop will keep you danc-y and, um, frisky. The best part about the set is her candid and millennial-appropriate lyrics: “I’m not the prettiest you’ve ever seen, but I have my moments.”

7. Where It All Began / Dan + Shay

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First, Dan + Shay are just über adorable. This whole album is like a ray of morning sunshine and it fills me with happiness. I’ve never been prone to country music but somewhere in the past 6 months I fell in some moonshine and I can’t get out. I just want to cuddle with them on some beach and eat gummy worms.

6. My Everything / Ariana Grande

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2014 was all about Ms. Ariana Grande. Who knew that pink-haired weirdo I used to watch on Nickelodeon with my younger sister would sneak her way on to my iPod as a sultry tigress. I’ve never thoroughly enjoyed singing along to unrecognizable lyrics more until this came into my life. It’s retro, it’s sexy, it’s cool, it’s EVERYTHING. Ha…Ha…get it? I digress.

5. 1989 / Taylor Swift

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For anyone who knows me well, they know how significant this is: a Taylor Swift album in any kind of association with my name. Yes, while I was not the biggest T-Swift fan for years, I have always been fair to say, “Good music is good music.” Well, Starbucks lovers (don’t argue with me on this one), James Dean eyes and rabbit holes made for some pretty killer jams. I love this new approach to music. I think it suits her well and I hope she sticks to it. Now I will never feel alone when sitting in my bed with tear-stained cheeks holding a butcher’s knife.

4. Four / One Direction

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You knew it was coming. One Direction will forever give me life and I don’t care what musical merits you care about, they make me happy and act a fool and I’m completely okay with that. Their musicianship has matured though, to be fair. Four is not as folky as Midnight Memories, or as pop-y as Take Me Home…it’s…weird, but still good. If another “Tarzan” movie ever happens, “Ready to Run” HAS to be the theme song.

3. x / Ed Sheeran

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Lawd, help me. This guy kills me. So simple, so unadorned, yet full of feels and life. I rarely like to be in a rainy day kinda mood, but I will for this album. I could do without the more urban tracks like “Sing,” but the other offerings are pure gold. If anyone can find the words like Ed Sheeran can, we would all be married and living happily ever after. A man, his guitar and a splash of insane musical wizardry makes this a must-have.

2. Aquarius / Tinashe

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Just turn the lights out, throw this album on and cruise through the night–you won’t regret it. Tin-ash/Tin-ash-ay/Whatever gave us such a refreshing debut effort, opting to show her airy, raspy vocal prowess over ratchet bangers. At times I get these vague Aaliyah vibes, which is probably why I’m so drawn to her style.

1. Montevallo / Sam Hunt

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If this is the future of country music, I. AM. DOWN. Sam Hunt is like the Drake of country, if that makes any sense. It’s a completely unique sound that had me hooked from the first time I heard “Break Up In A Small Town,” where Sam semi-raps his way into a booming chorus. His voice is also pure sex, not going to lie, especially on “Speakers,” which feels like “our” song for me and my non-existent lover. There are also some pop country tracks which are just as infectious. Bravo. Bravo, Sam. Marry me, please?

Fall Survival Guide

It. Is. FALL.

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Fall is my absolute favorite season of all–you know, out of the whopping four we have. Since I was too busy immersing myself in as many autumn-worthy activities since the official launch of the best season ever, I wasn’t able to inform you all on what you need to know to live happily in fall. Fall. Fall. Fall. Also, I feel fall doesn’t really start until October 1st, which was historically my favorite month until I moved to LA and the state of California burned and stomped all over October’s autumn spirit.

1. Craft your fall playlist

Country is a must. Even if you don’t like Country music, too bad. It’s fall-chic and you’ll love it. Stereotypical imagery of corn stalks, tractors, wagons, buggies, bonfires, and fields help enhance your seasonal experience. Fall is also a time for acoustic pop or simple, guitar-favored songs. Here’s a fall playlist starter kit:

  • “Get Out Of This Town” / Carrie Underwood
  • “We Owned The Night” / Lady Antebellum
  • “Stop Standing There” / Avril Lavigne
  • “Irreplaceable” / Beyonce
  • “This Is How We Roll” / Florida Georgia Line Ft. Luke Bryan
  • “Through The Dark” / One Direction
  • “Fast Car” / Tracy Chapman
  • “Love Story” / Taylor Swift
  • “Nothing” / The Script
  • “Don’t Forget To Remember Me” / Carrie Underwood
  • “It’s Okay” / Coin
  • “Scarecrow” / Alex & Sierra
  • “With You” / Chris Brown
  • “The One That Got Away” / Katy Perry
  • “Leave the Night On” / Sam Hunt
  • “The Night Before (Life Goes On)” / Carrie Underwood
  • “Red” / Taylor Swift
  • “Last Goodbye” / Kesha

2. Buy (and wear) a shit load of flannels with khakis and boots.

It’s the essential fall wardrobe. Wear the flannels. Tie them around your waist (because that’s a thing now). Put on your killer Timbalands or other choice of boot. DON’T: Buy a cowboy hat. No. That’s too much. If you wear these things, you will feel great about how fall-y you look and others will wish they feel like you do. You: 1. Them: 0.

3. Be Martha Stewart.

I don’t mean insider trading, either. I’m talking about turning pumpkins into chandeliers. If you don’t already have a warm, neutral color palette in your home, get one. You need to have a cozy and modern style that can be upgraded with seasonal flare and return to a respectable and fashionable normal. You feel me? Time to start adding the yellows, oranges, browns and reds to that canvas and make it feel like the goddamn Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade just came barreling through your home. I was just in Pier One and I can say there were some good finds–I literally gasped when I entered. P.S. Don’t forget fake leaves if you live in the stupid desert climate like me and don’t have them.

4. If it doesn’t have pumpkin or pumpkin spice, you can’t eat it.

By Christmas, you should have an orange glow. The carotene should be pumping through your veins like Amanda Bynes on a highway. There are enough pumpkin products on the market now to support your well-being for the next 2 months without dying. Put pumpkin puree in your pancake batter. PSLs or pumpkin chai will start your day. Roast pumpkin and butternut squash for a salad. They even have pumpkin spice Oreos for your late-night sweet fix. Bake pumpkin seeds for a mid-day snack. I don’t want to hear it. You can do wonders with a pumpkin–WONDERS!

5. Be one with nature.

I don’t go outdoors unless…well…well that’s besides the point. Point is, there are so many things to do in fall! Here are a few mandatory events:

  1. Pumpkin Patch. No one wants to go to a chain grocery store and get a pumpkin when you can go to a PUMPKIN PATCH. There’s cider, hay stacks, face painting and well-dressed fall-lites. It’s the place to be.
  2. Apple picking. This is like level-3 outdoor intensity, so make sure you’re fit. This choice includes walking outside–possibly on an incline, uneven terrain, insects, ungodly sites of insect-infested apples, and more. They also tend to happen near very quaint, All-American towns which is awesome. If you’re in the L.A. area, I suggest Julian, CA.
  3. Corn mazes. Aw, hell. This shit is my jam. This is strictly a nighttime activity. Take all your friends, take your PSLs, take your flannels, take your fall playlist and have fun getting lost! Torture has never been so much fun. But the haunted ones, fuck that shit. That’s a no.

With my astute, fall wisdom, you should be able to successfully make it through the next two months. If you need to discuss some awesome fall thing that I don’t know (highly unlikely), hit me up on Twitter @BryceChristian. Happy Fall!

Closet Confessional: Grammy’s Red Carpet

“Music’s Biggest Night,” rocked the Staples Center in Los Angeles last night. The CBS telecast drew in the show’s second-largest audience in over two decades with 28.5 million views. Beyoncé’s sultry “Crazy in Love” performance, Taylor Swift’s thug transformation and a mass Queen Latifah-officiated gay wedding all helped give the show a boost. But before the stars came out to play, they graced the red carpet in a wild assortment of fashions. Here are some of the highlights and crash-and-burners:

Taylor Swift, Gucci

Although I gave her a lot of slack last night (it’s just so much fun) she absolutely nailed it. This glittery silver dress was age and event appropriate. It was the serene calm before the head-thrashing and gangster-leaning storm that unfolded indoors.

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Beyoncé, Michael Costello

Bey skipped the red carpet to prepare for opening act, and probably for a good reason: She didn’t want to outshine everyone else–because she’s thoughtful that way. This white lace dress looks gorgeous on her and her new edgy blonde cut fits it well. I even love the little extra fabric on her forearm. On anyone else, I’d be saying, “Why are you wearing a doily?”

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Katy Perry, Valentino

You never know what you’re going to get with this rowdy one: cheese hat? blue hair? pink hair? octogenarian drab? Last night she elected for a whimsical, musically-inspired white gown. The haunting-glam look was swiftly abandoned indoors as she morphed into a witch hunter swinging around on broomstick stripper poles.

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Ciara, Pucci

Just weeks after Olivia Wilde proved that pregnancy can still be hot on the red carpet, Ciara came out to play in a beautiful, gold sequin stunner, which complements her skin tone so well. Pregnancy glow is real people. I need some of that these days.

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Chrissy Teigen, Johanna Johnson

Although it should be a crime to outshine your partner that is nominated for a Grammy (in this case, John Legend), but when you look this good, we forgive. It should be no secret that this Sports Illustrated swimsuit model knows how to dazzle.

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DJ Mark Ronson and wife Josephine de la Baume, Unknown

“We’re so excited to be here.” The only thing more excited are her nipples.

Josephine de La Baume, Mark Ronson

Shawn Crahan of Slipknot, Spirit Halloween Superstore

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Unfortunately, my mommy was not available to shield my eyes from It deciding to crash the red carpet. Thankfully I don’t have a red carpet hosting gig (yet) because I would have run away screaming.

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Cyndi Lauper, Alexander McQueen

A just birthed animal? Last night’s ragu? An unraveling ball of yarn? What exactly was the objective with your hair? But I do like the cape and slim-fit pants combo.

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Zendaya Emanual, Ungaro

You are so beautiful, why? It’s so unflattering and homemade looking. “Quick! We have to go. Just grab the shower curtain and let’s go!”

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Pharrell Williams, Only God knows

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That’s about it for me. I will be back with another closet confessional following the Academy Awards March 2.

Best of 2013: Top 50 Songs

First up on the Best of 2013 series, all of the songs that had me happy, sappy, poppin’ and droppin’ low.

50. You and I / One Direction

49. Drive / Miley Cyrus

48. Gypsy / Lady Gaga

47. Power Trip / J. Cole Ft. Miguel

46. Tomorrow / Wynter Gordon

45. Glitter and Gold / Little Daylight

44. Best Song Ever / One Direction

43. Treasure / Bruno Mars

42. Take A Picture / Carly Rae Jepsen

41. Disco Love / The Saturdays

40. Wake Me Up / Avicii Ft. Aloe Blacc

39. Walking On Air / Katy Perry

38. Bitchin’ Summer / Avril Lavigne

37. Where You Go / Ciara Ft. Future

36. Pop A Bottle (Fill Me Up) / Jessica Mauboy

35. Does He Know? / One Direction

34. What About Us? / The Saturdays

33. Heartbreak Party / Jessica Mauboy

32. Wildest Dreams / Brandy

31. Latch / Disclosure

30. Kiss Me / Ed Sheeran

29. Sweater Weather / The Neighbourhood

28. Hold On / Nervo

27. I Love It / Icona Pop

26. Summertime Sadness (Cedric Gervais Remix) / Lana Del Rey

25. Little White Lies / One Direction

24. Through the Dark / One Direction

23. Still Into You / Paramore

22. Roller Coaster / Justin Bieber

21. Birthday / Katy Perry

20. American Girl / Bonnie McKee

19. I’ll Be There / Jessica Mauboy

18. Beautiful / Mariah Carey Ft. Miguel

17. Standing On the Sun / Beyoncé

16. I’m Out / Ciara Ft. Nicki Minaj

15. Glowing / Nikki Williams

14. 22 / Taylor Swift

13. Rock N’ Roll / Avril Lavigne

12. Partition / Beyoncé

11. Euphoria / Loreen

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10. Ho Hey/ The Lumineers

This song is the epitome of “adorable.” It makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Who knew banjos, tambourines, alligators in the bayou, and scrawny white guys could be so charming? It also helps that the video meshes well with the song–I’m a big stickler with that. My only complaint is that it has to be,possibly, the shortest song in my entire iTunes library. Sad face.

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9. Can’t Stop / One Republic

Oh, Ryan Tedder, how you make me swoon. When not being a REAL creative genius for others, he is bestowing his musical gifts on his own band. I have an affinity for “night songs,” and Tedder seems to have a knack for that too. The brooding percussion and falsetto combo just makes my figurative panties come off. See, off.

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8. Into the Night / MDNGHT

Let the hot night songs continue! I found this UK band earlier this year from another one of their songs, “I Will Lead You On,” which is a great, chill track. This particular song is part of my 3-song falling-asleep playlist that is played on loop with a 30-minute timer every night. It’s so relaxing and the vocals are fan-freaking-tastic. I hope they continue to put forth music like this because I am definitely a fan.

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7. Body Party / Ciara

As a part-time body roller, this song keeps me very busy. It’s so dark and sexy. Thank God Ciara finally is back in our lives and better than ever, in my opinion. This song will always just put you in the mood without fail. The melody in the chorus starting with: “You can’t keep your hands off me” will get stuck in your head forever.

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6. Love Me / Katy Perry

My girl, my girl. I was so ecstatic for new Katy music that I leapt into “PRISM” like a starved hyena and judged far too quickly. After the monumental success of “Teenage Dream,” I found myself thinking, “But where are all of the hits?” And then I realized it wasn’t about the hits, it was about her healing and what she needed to create for herself, not us. Silly, selfish me. But then once I let the album slowly sink in, there were a couple sneaky dark horses (ha…ha…) that became favorites. I love the simplicity of this song. It’s kind of Indie, and reminds me of Tegan and Sara, but for some reason I am addicted. I guess you can tell by now that I like heavy bass and percussion mixed with delicate falsettos.

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5. Stay the Night / Zedd Ft. Hayley Williams

I fell in love with Zedd at last year’s KISS 102.7 Jingle Ball. He performed “Clarity” (before it went big) and “Spectrum,” and I remember thinking that this guy was going great places. I already love Hayley Williams, her voice and style, so the pairing of these two is just a match made in heaven. The song is one of those transporting songs that just takes you places, if you close your eyes and listen. I don’t know how to describe it that well but “Teenage Dream” is one like that too; it makes you feel the youthful energy and summer fling senses. Anyway, I love the restraint of Zedd on this song not to overproduce and add all of the clapping/dubstep madness.

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4. Underneath the Tree / Kelly Clarkson

I would not have ever guessed a Christmas song would be making my top 5–ever, unless Mariah Carey channeled her 1994-1997 beast years, but here came Kelly Clarkson dropping her first holiday LP with a KILLER debut track. Like the dismemberment of the Spice Girls, I remember where and what I was doing when I first heard this song. I was sitting outside of the Coffee Bean on 3rd & Hauser,  peering down 3rd towards the Grove at dusk. It was chilly and I had my usual vanilla ceylon tea latte in hand. I clicked on play and then Christmas perfection unleashed itself in between my ears. There were tiny little elves running and banging candy canes on all of my nerves and I’m pretty sure my eyes glazed over to any concerned bystander. It is basically the 21st century “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Instant Christmas classic.

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3. Work Bitch / Britney Spears

What. A. Banger. I think I initially passed it up the first time I listened to it, but when I heard it full-blast on the car stereo after the Carly Rae Jepsen concert, I was like “Oh, damn. It’s Britney, bitch.” I wasn’t sure how thrilled I would be after finding out that will.i.am was executive producing her new album, Britney Jean. Unfortunately, this track is really the only thing worth listening to off of the album, so bravo Will. Bravo. And even better than the song, which finds Britney in her newfound love for the British accent  once again, is the music video! It was like 2001 Britney climbed out of the TRL archive and lit up my screen.

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2. Roar / Katy Perry

The joy I felt when this song dropped…it was that of a new parent welcoming their firstborn into the world. Katy had me in such a crazed addiction mode after she kept previewing these little videos teasing #roar. On the final teaser, a snippet of the chorus was added and I damn near pissed myself. And then finally the song, in its entirety, was released and I was instantly hooked. It just had number-one smash written all over it, and eventually did achieve just that. It’s an anthem that is easy to relate to and belt out because it’s just oodles of fun. It was the soundtrack to the beginning of the school year. The chorus though, the final one, where everything is amped up and louder, gives me chills every time.

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1. Hold On, We’re Going Home / Drake

Hands down the BEST song of the year. Not only was it just the best song of the year, this is going straight onto my “all-time” list. In just a few months, it flew all the way up my iTunes play counts to knock off “Teenage Dream” as my most-played song of all-time. It’s my ringtone, I fall asleep to it every night, I hum it all the time. Props, Drizzy, props. It’s just a cool ass song that just makes you feel good. And the beats hit so hard and crisply. Just get outta here. Too good.

Kanye being–well, Kanye

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The “Yeezus” tour stopped in L.A. this week. After rocking two nights at Staples Center, Kanye West visited “On-Air with Ryan Seacrest” to chat with the entertainment guru. And what he said was…you be the judge.

“There’s no way Kim Kardashian shouldn’t be on the cover of Vogue. She’s like the most intriguing woman right now. She’s got Barbara Walters calling her like everyday.”

“Like I went anti-hit song on the “Yeezus” album. I know how to write hit songs, but I’m not interested in that particularly. I’m interested in design and helping the world.”

“…but because of the perception I was under after the Taylor Swift incident, the only way for me to somehow buy my affection of the public back, was to deliver an absolutely perfected product. So if you listen to “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”, that’s the closest thing to a perfected album. So it’s like, I know how to make perfection, I just don’t want to.” He followed up on the Taylor incident with, “You know what? I would not want some crazy drunk rockstar cutting my daughter off also. But, my daughter would 100% also be like, ‘Yes, Beyoncé did have the best video.’ That’s what my daughter would do!”

“What if you’re Gaudí and you know you’re the best architect and everyone is saying that you’re saying you’re the best architect the wrong way. The problem isn’t whether or not you are the best – it’s the way you’re saying it. People get really hung up on the way I word things. But I am the best. That’s the bottom line.”

“I drink Grey Goose. And I’m not getting paid anything from them, but I’m going to tell you as a man – and they said Shakespeare was like a drunk and yes, I said that to blatantly compare myself to Shakespeare.”

“And collectively, we’re the most influential with clothing. No one is looking at what [President] Obama is wearing. Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day.”

I’ll cap it at that. My only concern is that if he keeps name-dropping celebrated creative figures, he’s going to exhaust the list! I know he said fiancée Kim is the most intriguing personality right now, but I think he might be overlooking someone else, someone much…closer. I could listen to him talk all day. I really could.

P.S. I’d take Michelle Obama’s arms over Kim’s bottom asset any day. My point: say what you want, but don’t drag POTUS and FLOTUS into this. Untouchables.

[Images via hellobeautiful.com and L.A. Times]

Kanye: I’m sorry Kelly Clarkson, but I’m going to have the best wedding of all-time

Kanye is at it again, sort of.

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Just hours after the entertainment world was enchanted by Kelly Clarkson and beau Brandon Blackstock’s magical Smoky Mountains wedding announcement, the “Yeezus” rapper proposed to girlfriend Kim Kardashian. I could only hear one thing in my mind after the news broke, a spin on his classic Taylor Swift diss at the MTV VMAs:

“I’m sorry, Kelly, but Kim and I are going to have one of the best weddings of all-time.”

Kanye popped the question in front of family and friends while celebrating Kim’s 33rd birthday at San Francisco’s AT&T Park, according to E! News.

Can we just take a moment to grasp how massive this wedding is going to be? I hear he is going to walk down the aisle while Kim awaits at the altar. He will also officiate the ceremony; shouldn’t be hard since he and Jesus are bffs (the prophet even stopped by his Vancouver concert). The “creative genius,” will also be in charge of all design decisions. Wedding guests will walk away with a Kanye West gift package, equipped with albums, a signed headshot and a contractual agreement to have all apparel decisions approved by him. Allegedly.

Some 2,300 miles away in Tennessee, country gal Kelly Clarkson tied the knot with her talent manager fiancé. The “Stronger” singer posted gorgeous pics from the special day at Blackberry Farm on her Twitter account. Clarkson looked like a fairytale princess in a Temperley lace gown and Maria Elena headband.

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Congrats to both couples! May the odds be ever in your favor.

Taylor Swift is writing sweet fiction in new single

T-Swift fans have new music to celebrate.

Yesterday, the studio version of “Sweeter than Fiction” surfaced on Youtube. The song is hella ’80’s. And then at some point it morphs into a “Lizzy McGuire Movie-esque theme song. I was never really a Swifter until “Red” was released, mainly because she evolved past butterflies, rainbows, teardrops and Ford pickup trucks. But this song seems to be taking a step back from the more mature sounds of “Red”–keyowrd: more. However, It has now played for the third time while writing this and I’m bobbing my head and humming along. FML. Swift: 1, Bryce: 0.

P.S. I feel this song should have been given to Carly Rae Jepsen….